International Fighting

Yesterday, G hooked us up with some tickets to see the fights at the World Boxing Championships. JJ invited along two friend of his, and Steve brought Eli. Several countries were represented including the USA, a guy named Demetrius who won over a guy from Latavia.

Two rings were set up in the UIC Pavillion, and the judges watched the action on laptop computers set up in front of them. Counters showing the points each boxer scored were in front of each ring. The fights were also broadcast on a huge screen, along with trivia about the World Boxing Championships. I found out that this is only the third time the event has taken place in this country.

I heard that professional boxer Andrew Golota was somewhere in the building. I saw referee/official Shifty running gloves back and forth, as well as Rita, another professional boxer, doing the same thing.

The fights themselves were a little slow. Olympic-style boxing is a bit different from regular amateur boxing and professional bouts. There are many rules, and I noticed the referees giving hand signals to the boxers to indicate which ones they had broken.

There was a fighter from Mongolia competing, and when he was in the ring, it seemed that the entire Chicago Mongolian community was there cheering him on. The Irish boxer who fought and won had a good sized cheering section, as well.

Training Day

I spent six hours down at UIC today, as a volunteer for the World Boxing Championships. I was stationed at the training center. Several teams came through, including England, Belarus, Italy, Korea, Japan, the Ukraine and China.

Some of the women who were there kept going on about how nice the team from Ireland was. They had volunteered the previous weekend, and said that the guys on that team were very sweet. I wanted to meet them, but they didn't come to the training center today.

There were tales of rude behavior from some of the teams. One woman said she was told to "shut up" by a boxer from Turkey. That team wanted to have access to a VIP area at the Palmer House Hotel, and were denied. There were also stories of the women being ignored when they were attempting to help the athletes. Unfortunately, that behavior from foreign men who come from countries where women aren't empowered, is common. They just can't stand having to deal with women who have authority. Fortunately, I neither witnessed or experienced any of that crap today.

The training center had several rings set up for the boxers to use. The teams were allowed one hour in the ring, and George was tough about getting them out on time. George is the coach over at Garfield Park, and he was in charge of running the rings there. Percy, whom I met at the Golden Gloves earlier this year, was also helping out.

The volunteers helped keep the rings clean, passed out towels, alerted teams when the shuttle buses were coming and going, and helped the boxers find their way around the building. At one point, I showed one of the British boxers where the washrooms were. It was somewhat like going through a maze to find the toilets in the lower level of the building.

After my shift was over, I took the shuttle back to the Palmer House. Volunteers were allowed to do this as long as they showed their credentials, or IDs. I enjoyed my volunteer time today. Now I wish I had signed up for more shifts. However, they need people during the day, and my job prevents me from being there.

Tomorrow, there are plans to see the bouts as spectators. Last night, Steve said that G is going to have tickets for those who want to go. I forgot that I told Ron, the church organist, that we could type up (well, I'm the one doing the typing) the program for the cabaret show we're doing in early November. We have to go to my office, since my laptop at home doesn't have Microsoft Publisher on it. Hopefully, that won't take more than an hour, so I can make the fights. I'll have to call Steve later tonight to see what the plan is for meeting up with everybody.

New Dwindles While Old Increases

Steve had to stay home with Eli. The little guy had a bad reaction to some medicine. Plus, Ellen had an interview outside of the city. Steve thought it best not to leave their son with babysitters last night, which was a good idea.

Most times when Steve is out, someone shows up whom none of us have seen in awhile. Last night, our own 2007 Golden Gloves winner, Mort came in. Also, Big Jermaine showed up along with his buddy, Danny. I hadn't seen Danny since last winter, I think. He told me since the weather was cooling down, he'd be coming in the gym more often. Last, but not least, Antonio, a MMA fighter who also won a Golden Gloves trophy earlier this year, came in to train.

Antonio, Mort and I got into a discussion about food, which made me more aware that I should watch what I eat. I had grumbled on a diabetes forum earlier that day how I hated having to think about the condition every day and adjust my habits. The forum monitor suggested a couple of books for me to read, and added, "The books will explain what bad things can happen if you don't eat right!" Antonio explained that he likes to eat a lot of Korean food. "It's the best because it's so healthy. It's full of vegetables," he said. Both he and Mort agreed that eating White Castle hamburgers was dangerous. I admit that I like "sliders", but even I can't eat them every day. Once every few months, I'll get a strong craving for them.

Antonio told me that he has opened his own gym, which is located on North and Elston. In addition to MMA, he teaches other martial arts and boxing. I would like to go there and check it out.

Only two of the new people came in, and they were gone at least fourty-five minutes before class was over. The male half of the married couple (I still can't think of his name), and Arin worked out a little, but I didn't do a formal lesson with them. I would have worked with them if they asked for help with specific things, however.

When I got to the gym, I noticed that I left one of my new boxing shoes at home. I never check to see if I have everything in the bag before I leave the house. It's the umpteenth time I've discovered I'm missing something; it's annoying. Must be one of those "senior moments" people joke about. Luckily, I had an old pair of flat tennis shoes in my locker to wear.

I watched the first semi-final match of "The Contender" late the night before. I had taped it because I had gone to a women's fellowship meeting sponsored by my church earlier. I knew Jaidon was going to beat his opponent, but I didn't expect the beat down to be so sudden. He caught the guy with a right cross, and his opponent crumbled to the canvas. He made it up before the referee finished the count, but his legs were not under him. The fight was stopped. He'll fight whoever wins the second semi-final match: Sakio Bika or Sam Solliman. That's a hard fight to predict. Both of them are tough men.

Friday Only

I wasn't feeling well on Wednesday, so I didn't go to the gym. I went in this past Friday, and the crowd was small. The married couple, Andy, JJ and Tommy were there.

When I picked up my World Boxing Championships uniform earlier in the week, I was given four free tickets. I chose to go to the matches on Halloween, since I took that as a vacation day. Steve and JJ expressed interest in going, but JJ has to work, so he may not be able to go. I also told Steve that since Barry and Gary are also volunteers, they should have free tickets, too.

Tommy and I were laughing about the Oscar DeLaHoya picture incident, the one where pictures were posted of him in risque clothing on the Internet. DeLaHoya has denied the pictures are of him, and Steve said the photos looked like a Photoshop job. "He's too much of a businessman, and too much of a big image to mess up to do something like that," Steve said.

Terrell and Wally came in. Wally announced that he has graduated from college, with a degree in computer science. "I'm just waiting on Terrell to get finished," he said. Terrell is a junior at a college in Mississippi, carrying a double major in biology and chemistry. "Those are some tough subjects," Steve pointed out. "But they go well together," I told Terrell. He's better than I: science was one of my worst subjects while I was in school.

Yesterday, I ran into Tall Ben, who was walking with his girlfriend and their kids. "You don't spar down there, do you?" he asked. "No women are available. The new ones that come in don't want to spar," I said. Linda, the administrative assistant who works downstairs at my job, had asked me the same thing earlier on Friday. It's been months. I think the last person I sparred with was Erin, right before she had her fight out at the Sabre Room. I miss that type of practice. But then, on the other hand, with my sprained shoulder, I need to cool out on that for a minute.

Switzerland Guest

Steve said that a boxer from Switzerland, who wanted to learn "technical boxing", had planned to show up at the gym Friday night. According to Steve, the guy would be a good match for JJ, but the guy never showed up. The boxer is associated with the World Boxing Championships, so it is expected he'll visit the gym at some point. However, no word on if any other international boxers will come.

Mort showed up with his girlfriend, whose name I can't remember. He was happy to see all the new equipment, especially the speed bag, which is his favorite. Of the newcomers, there were Andy, Aren and Nina; their numbers seem to be dwindling, as what usually happens as the session goes on.

I had a good workout, despite the fact that my shoulder still hurts. My left leg is now hurting, too. That happened yesterday while I was dancing to a music video -- "New Jack Swing" by Wrecks N' Effects -- I was converting from VHS to DVD. Seems I forgot that I am no longer in my 20s (when the song was released), and that I've gained some pounds since that time. I foolishly thought I could still do the moves displayed in that video.

Four For Class

Steve called me before I went to work yesterday morning, explaining that he had to prepare a talk he's going to give to some professors. I agreed to open the gym that evening.

Only five of the new people showed up, and one did his own workout (can't think of his name, but he was wearing a paramedic's association T-shirt). The other four -- Aren, Nina, and an engaged couple -- and I got into the ring to go over what Steve had taught them. We reviewed the left jab and right cross. I added the left hook, side-to-side footwork and pivoting. It was a pleasant, but quiet evening. Of the guys who come in often, only Ben and Bony came in.

Mary pointed out some of the work that had been done in the gym. The ring ropes had been tightened, an Everlast heavy bag had been put up, and a couple of Everlast banners had been hung. Today, the body snatcher bag and new speed bag platform will be installed. The double end bag may be moved over to provide more room on the floor. Things are looking good; it's just of matter of finding out when and if any of the boxers participating in the World Boxing Championships will come to Loyola Park to work out. I understand that arrangements have already been made for the international boxers to work out at some of the other Park District gyms. Gary told me that when I saw him last Saturday morning, on my way to take care of some business at the credit union.

Where Are The Regulars?

All of the newcomers except for Amy showed up Friday, but of the people who've been there awhile, only JJ, Bony and G came in. This is the about the third time in a row that the regulars have been missing, and now I'm wondering: what's up? That's the type of behavior I've come to expect out of the newcomers, but not the guys who are usually always around.

G said that the Loyola Park boxing show got high marks from many. It appears that people were impressed with the fighters. I gave Steve my DVD copy of the boxing show so he could burn copies for himself, Mort and Larry.

Steve told me to keep doing the exercises that James gave me for my sore left shoulder. "I liked James. He seems to know his stuff," he said. I did the exercises when I came home from the gym, and I plan to continue them over the weekend. My shoulder doesn't feel as bad as it used to, but it still needs improvement.

I opted not to go to Hamlin Park today, due to my shoulder. I had to buy some more pain killers, and I can never remember what I can take. Since I have hypertension and diabetes, I have to be careful what over-the-counter meds I take.

Another Sprain?

I went to see the physical therapist, James, whom Steve recommended last night after work. James thought I had a sprain. "Did you lift anything heavy? Fall recently?" he asked. I searched my brain, and couldn't come up with anything. The last time I knew I sprained my shoulder was the summer of 2005 when I was in an accident that totaled the car my father left me when he passed away.

James was very helpful. "How did you know to come here?" he asked. I told him Steve's name, and he chuckled. "Yeah, I remember Steve," he said. He gave me some exercises to do, and told me to call him on Monday if I didn't notice any improvements.

Now I'm debating if I should go to Hamlin Park tomorrow. Yale was going to introduce me to some female boxers, and perhaps set up some sparring. I received an email from Margaret, the choir director at my church, questioning if I should do that in light of my shoulder. She has a point. There's no sense in me continually re-injuring my shoulder. For all I know, this could be a flare-up from when I hurt it two years ago. James did say it was kind of unusual that it would hurt now from boxing, considering that I have been involved in the sport for about seven years.

Quiet and Full

There were about seven new people in the gym last night, but yet, the gym was quiet. Most of the regulars did not appear. The radio was tuned to a sports channel and the Cubs game was on. I don't like baseball, so I wasn't paying attention to the scores. They lost anyway, I learned later, which was not surprising.

Candace came in later, and asked, "What's going on?" when she saw all the people in the ring with Steve. I forgot that Candace started three weeks late into the summer session, so she missed the group lessons that Steve always gives in the beginning. Her and I did some pad work. She wanted to work on blocking hooks.

Aren -- that is the correct spelling of the woman whom I was referring to as Erin, not to be confused with the actual Erin who hasn't been in the gym in awhile. I heard her giving big-time encouragement to an African-American woman who was another newcomer during a pad work exercise. I like Aren; I hope her enthusiasm for learning the sport keeps her coming to the gym.

Later in the evening, Steve asked me if he should continue to have the newcomers do pad work or do floor exercises. I suggested the floor exercises, and went into the ring to do them with the others. I was happy that the second time we had to do 20 leg lifts, I did them all without stopping between lifts. We also had to toss medicine balls to each other, which my sore left arm didn't like, but I got through it. Steve emailed me the name of the guy he saw when he was having trouble with his arm. I'm going in to see that person about my arm this evening.

Yale emailed me today about coming up to Hamlin on Saturday, so I'll call him later to confirm. He's going to introduce me to the female boxers up there, but if they are who I think they are, I have met them several times. It'll be nice to get a workout in, however.

Fight Night 2007

I went to the gym right after work, and Barry put me to work giving out the T-shirts made up for Loyola Park's Boxing Explosion show. There were red and blue shirts of different sizes. The owner of the Heartland Cafe had donated food for the officials and coaches, and I also helped carry that in. Very tasty spread. Barry also ordered pizzas from Alberto's.

Mort had been tracked down, and he was there for his match. J.J. did not have a match, although Alan, one of the officials, thought he should have. Larry, Lorell, Alex, and Luke, had fights, and so did Mike.

I sang the National Anthem. You know that middle part in the song that goes very high? I hit the wrong note coming in, but managed to recover. It's a good thing I started that song on a very low note, or else that would have really sounded horrible.

Once the matches began, I positioned myself at ringside with the camcorder that Les allowed me to borrow from the office. Mike gave me his digital camera to catch his match. Unfortunately, the batteries ran out on his camera, and I couldn't get a fresh set in quick enough to catch the rest of the bout, which he won. I was lucky that I had enough time to record the other matches, considering I forgot to set the tape from SP to LP. Just in case, I didn't tape most of the second round of Larry's fight, so I could get all of the third round in. Larry also won his match. All of the guys were victorious that evening, except for little Luke. The awards for best boxers were given out near the end, and Diego won one of them.

After the fights were over, a dark-haired woman came up to me and introduced herself. She was J, who has her own blog, and often puts entries on The Broken Heart of Rogers Park blog. It was nice to meet her and her fiance. Neither one of them had ever seen a live boxing match before, and they enjoyed it.

New Folks, Fall 2007

There were five newcomers to the gym last night, and I met all of them except for one guy who came in later. He talked with Steve, then left about 15 minutes later. The other four -- Andy, Mary, Amy, and Erin -- didn't all stay for the full time, either. After giving them a brief introduction to the program, Steve explained that he had to work with the guys who have matches coming up Friday at the boxing show. I told the four that I would start them off with learning how to stand, how to hold their hands, and how to throw the left jab. Andy and Amy decided they would come in next Wednesday, while Mary and Erin warmed up for the lesson.

Erin seemed very interested in learning. She kept expressing how "cool" everything was. Mary admitted that she had been in fights as a kid. Mary's husband hovered outside of the door of the gym, holding their very cute four-month-old daughter. Interpersed between the lessons, was me talking at length about amateur boxing licenses, equipment, sparring and competing.

The main bad thing about the fall session is that is always starts right before the field house's boxing show, or "Boxing Explosion", as it is called. The new people get only one day that week, and then the gym is closed for business due to the show. It always serves as a test, however, of who will stick with it. Some are thrown off by the boxing show, and then they don't return again.

Picture Test

I wanted to check if I could post some pictures on this blog. It appears that some I can, and some I can't. These made it up; I'll have to see why it seems difficult to add others. I didn't like the TV show "The A-Team", but I did like Mr. T's character in the film Rocky III.

Notice To Those In Rogers Park

I'm posting this as a favor and to get the word out to those who live in Rogers Park, Chicago, IL:

As local elected officials, we have an obligation to our constituents to provide them with a voice in Springfield. This year, we spoke with many local groups and organizations about their needs and concerns to help deliver improved services.When crafted a new state budget, we worked to pass a responsible spending plan that serves those most in need, including persons with disabilities, immigrant and refugee families, the homeless and individuals suffering from AIDS. Further, we worked to provide needed funding for local schools, park districts, fire stations, municipalities, economic development and to assist our senior citizens.This funding was secured in order to provide our most needy residents with the services they rely on. However, Gov. Rod Blagojevich disagreed. He not only cut these crucial local projects from the budget, but in doing so he insulted the integrity of many worthy community groups by labeling the funding as 'pork'.

Now the ability of these organizations to provide needed programs to the families they serve has been severely damaged.We are hosting a community forum at 7pm on Thursday, Sept. 27, at the Mundelein Center Auditorium of Loyola University, 1020 W. Sheridan Road to hear from area community organizations and local governments about how the governor's harmful budget cuts may affect their operations and ability to provide services.We encourage anyone who is concerned about the loss of these needed projects to attend this hearing. It is important that we build the necessary support for an override of the governor's vetoes, and your attendance at this forum can help build the necessary momentum. We look forward to seeing you there.

STATE REPS:GREG HARRIS (13TH), TONI BERRIOS (39TH), RICH BRADLEY (40TH),JOHN DaMAMICO (15TH),JOHN FRITCHEY (11TH),SARA FEIGENHOLTZ (12TH),LOU LANG (16TH) JOSEPH LYONS (19TH)& HARRY OSTERMAN (14TH)

Volunteer Pugalists

Yesterday, on Sunday, I went to the Palmer House Hotel downtown to attend a information meeting. It was for people who signed up to volunteer with the World Boxing Championships that are coming to Chicago late next month. The organizers kept impressing how important it was that the volunteers put their best foot forward. "You will be the face of Chicago to the boxers who are coming in from the other countries," one of the organizers said.

We were shown a short video of Olympic hopefuls, including a kid who boxed. I couldn't tell what gym he was from, or even if the gym was located in the city. Information was passed out, and there was a lengthy discussion of what was needed to help the event be a success. I talked to the guy who is the head of the competition/training portion afterwards. He indicated that there is an evening portion, which was good. The event needs volunteers heavily during the day, and unfortunately, I can't take off during the days.

Mike Q. and Barry were there, and they talked with that guy, too. Barry told me that JJ won a fight he had out in Benton Harbor, MI over the weekend. JJ knocked his opponent out in the third round. It was similar to the knockout he gave his opponent at Hollywood Casino last week, coming near the end of the round.

Wednesday is the beginning of the Fall session, which means newcomers in the gym. That also means that Steve may or may not have time to work with them, since the Loyola Park boxing show is Friday. I believe JJ and Mike have matches that day, and I thought I heard Steve say that Mort was scheduled for one, too. He'll probably spend that time getting them ready, while I help the newcomers.

Repetitive Injury

My upper left arm had been hurting for over a week. Finally I went to my friendly MD this morning, who ruled out anything serious. "It's probably a muscle injury from throwing left jabs in the gym," he said. He suggested that I get a heating pad, and keep him notified in case things get worse. The pain flared up as I was hitting the heavybags last night, but like I always do, I ignored the pain and kept going.

Candace and Steve did some light sparring, with me calling out instructions to Candace from outside of the ring. He gave her a lot of attention last night, which will be cut short next week when the new crop of people come in for the fall session. We'll only be in the gym on Wednesday of next week; the gym is closed next Friday because of the annual fieldhouse boxing show. I still haven't practiced "The Star-Spangled Banner", which I'll sing to open the show. I need to get on it.

Everlast is one of the sponsors of the World Boxing Championship that is coming to town next month, so they hooked us up with a lot of new equipment. There were boxes of stuff when I arrived last night. The idea of the tournament organizers is that the international boxers would go to local Chicago gyms to workout while they are here. The new equipment will be nice for them to use. Steve hung up the double-end bag last night, and it feels fine. JJ was grumbling about a pair of the new bag gloves: "They're too fuckin' tight!" I told him all the new stuff will take time to break in.

Only Candace, JJ, Ben, Steve and myself were in the gym last night. I came in late because I had to go to my regular visit with my foot doctor first. Couldn't go home to change because I had to attend a mid-afternoon meeting at the main downtown office of my job, so I was carrying my gear with me. I changed into a white T-shirt and dark shorts right after the meeting. Les gave me a double look when he saw me. No, I was not going to the fundraising auction that was taking place after the meeting (which is why the meeting was scheduled when it was). Couldn't justify paying the high ticket prices, nor afford to bid on anything. It was not in my budget.

Casino Fights

All of the fights held at Hollywood Casino out in Aurora, IL this past Friday night were exciting. That is, with the exception of Bovan's fight, which was the last one of the evening. Bovan learned at the last minute that he was on the card, so Steve, JJ and myself stopped to pick him up. We ran into Antonio on the way, and spoke with him for a few moments.

Bovan was paired with a big Nigerian guy. The first two rounds were snoozers, as neither man threw many punches nor significant ones. I heard Steve snap, "What are you trying to do, outslick him?" Finally, the two fighters showed some life in the last round, but that quickly turned into a lot of clinches. "Come on," Steve said, "knock him on his ass!" Bovan won, but barely, squeaking out a decision.

Steve and JJ's conditioning coach, Jerome, worked JJ's corner during his match. JJ fought a Russian guy who was very stiff in the way held himself. Near the end of the second round, JJ caught the guy with a right and knocked him to the canvas. Jerome jumped up and down, yelling, "That's what I'm talking about!" He was so carried away that he forgot that he was supposed to assist in the corner. Fortunately, Mike leap up on the apron to help Steve. JJ continued to dominate the Russian in the third round. The Russian's corner people waved a white towel to stop the match.

I met a woman named Kristen, who was with Paul, another guy who fought and won that night. She asked about sparring opportunities at Loyola Park. Steve told her there were a few women, including me. Kristen remarked that she had a hard time finding matches. Steve indicated that it was hard for me to get them, too. "Because of my age. . .and diabetes," I told her. "You could always go pro," she smiled. A light bulb went off in my head. Another way to pick up some extra cash, I thought. But seeing how I am 45 years old, and haven't had any amateur fights, that would be a neat trick to pull off. Besides, if the USA Amateur Boxing Association doesn't allow those with diabetes and high blood pressure to compete, I would assume the same restriction are in the pro ranks.

We stopped at a gas station so Steve could fill up and get directions back to the highway. A woman came up to the car claiming that she was working for a company that was testing a new cologne. Allegedly, the cologne was something new by Armani. Yeah, right. . .it was after 9:00 PM, and they're hanging at a gas station selling what was probably no-name cologne that might have been hot goods. Uh-huh. JJ used some of his winnings to buy a bottle. Bovan had gotten out of the car to get something to eat. When he came back, the woman was joined by her partner, a guy who had tried to convince me and Steve to buy the cologne. The woman was impressed by Bovan's build. He's a solid built guy. I shook his hand earlier when we picked him up; nice strong grip. The woman wanted him to flex his muscles. He hesitated for a moment, but then obliged her. She was impressed.

On way back to Chicago, both Bovan and JJ stated that they didn't want Steve to ever stop any matches of theirs. Steve explained that if he saw that they were getting extremely hurt, he would have no choice but to step in and call it off. "You could get brain damage, etc.," Steve said. Bovan declared, "If anybody ever did that to me, I'd fight them. I mean, I wouldn't fight you because I know you, but I'd never let you work my corner again." "That's fine," Steve said, with no trace of irritation. Bovan is a professional MMA fighter; he boxes mainly for extra fight practice.

Bovan revealed something that I didn't know. There's not a clear amateur path in MMA as there is in boxing. "You can go pro faster there, instead of like boxing, where it takes years," he said. He has had a chance to spar with and be around some MMA superstars, such as Tim "The Maniac" Silva, for example. Bovan believes MMA will overtake boxing. Steve disagreed, stating he thinks there is room for both.

The Little Lady and The Casino

G dropped in yesterday, but he couldn't stay. He brought his three-year-old daughter with him, an absolutely adorable little lady named Laila. She wasn't talking much, and her dad told her she was being shy. Suddenly, she spoke up in a loud, strong voice, "No, Daddy, I am not being shy. I am not acting shy." She didn't say much after that, but her curious eyes looked around the gym. G said that the Mexican Independence Parade organizers are looking for boxers to participate in it. He left some information about it for Steve.

We also talked about the World Boxing Championships, which will take place late next month. I signed up to be a volunteer yesterday. One of the organizers told me that I should receive information about assigments as early as next week.

Bony came in with his little son, Manuel, a friendly child who waved at everybody. Later, Nate Sr. came in. His son, Nate Jr., was playing basketball in the gym next to ours. Candace was missing, and I also noted that Erin hadn't been in for a long time. I don't know if Erin gave up on boxing, or her school work is keeping her away.

JJ has a fight on Friday night at the Hollywood Casino in Aurora, IL. Steve explained that the casino doesn't want the fights going on for very long. The main purpose of the fights is to lure people into the casino to gamble. Only five fights have been set up. Larry would have had a fight, but one was not available for him. He's planning to come along, however, along with Steve, myself, and Mort. JJ's conditioning coach is planning to meet up with us out there.

I've never been inside a casino in my life. My late dad frequented the casinos, riverboats and friends' card games. My aunts like those things, too. I can understand the fascination with gambling, but I can't see always giving away money with no guarantee of a return. I might try the slot machines, just for the experience of it, but I'm not planning to drop a load of cash.

After a few days of insomnia, I was finally able to sleep well last night. Unfortunately, I slept too well and was an hour and half late to work this morning. I have to make that time up today because this is the last day of the pay period. I knew working out last night would help me get some shut eye.

Mom Of The Gym Gives Advice

Jermaine once gave me the nickname of "Queen of the Gym", but last night I felt like "Mom of the Gym" when JJ called to ask for information and advice concerning renting an apartment. He and Mort have been trying to get money together so they can move out of their parents' respective houses for months. Both guys are old enough to be my sons, if I had any.

He started out by asking about the cost of renting in my neighborhood. JJ lives in Evanston, and traditionally, a lot of young adults who live in that town have looked to the Rogers Park neighborhood to find cheaper apartments. Evanston is not cheap to live in. High property taxes is one reason why it's expensive. There are mostly houses, and like most other cities and towns, condos have proliferated like cockroaches. Unfortunately, Rogers Park has lost its reputation as an area where affordable apartments can be found easily. New condo developments and former apartment buildings that have been converted to condos have driven the price of the rentals that are left up very high.

The first apartment I had was in the Gold Coast, an upper middle class/wealthy area not far from downtown Chicago. Amazingly, I was paying a little over $200 a month for an apartment that my late dad had to co-sign the lease on. I was making not much more than $10,000 a year at the time. Nobody making that small of a salary today could afford anything there or anywhere else for that matter.

It seems to be very hard for young adults to start out on their own these days. Those graduating from college find themselves living back at home, even if they have a job. Starting salaries often aren't enough for them to live on their own. Those with only a high school education have an even harder time finding decent paying work, which cuts down on them being truly independent. Getting a roommate saves some money, but often, there's still a lot of penny pinching going on.

I advised JJ to look at apartments where he wouldn't have to pay utilities at all. "Never move into any apartment where you have to pay a heat bill. That bill will take a big chunk out of your paycheck," I said. I also told him ways to cut down on his electric bill if he has to be responsible for one.

I only touched on having to figure groceries and transportation costs into his living expenses. When I see him later this week, we'll discuss it more.

Second Confession

Here is the other story I sold. Once again, remember that the title and the names have changed in the published version. The confession magazine owns all rights to this story now, so they have made changes as they saw fit. Comments welcomed.


MY EX NEEDS TO CHOOSE – OUR SON OR HIS FIANCÈE
"You come back here right now and explain it to him yourself, Bill!" I snapped. My ex-husband quickly backed down the front steps of the house we used to share and towards his car. "I can’t, Caty. I’m already running late," he said before speeding off. I stood and fumed for a few moments before going back inside the house. I was left alone to tell our son that his dad had broken another promise to spend time with him – again.

Bill and I had separated when Evan was very small. It was still hard for me to wrap my mind around what went wrong. Bill and I met while we were in college. He was a senior on his way to a career in business, and I was a freshman still trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. After I met Bill however, it was apparent that the only thing I wanted to do was to be at his side. We spent every moment out of class with each other. Bill graduated that spring and not long afterwards, I left school to be his wife. My parents weren’t happy with me stopping my education, but when they met Bill, they liked him instantly. He and I built a home together, and I was satisfied with being a homemaker and stay-at-home mom to Evan.

It was around the time Evan began pre-school that I began to notice changes between Bill and I. He used to confide his dreams and troubles to me. Our regular heartfelt talks tapered off, then stopped altogether. When I asked Bill what was wrong, he would clam up. He spent more and more time at his job, or so that’s what he told me. When I questioned him about all the time he spent away from home, he’d snap that he was working hard for the family and accuse me of being unappreciative of his efforts. Even Evan sensed that his dad was upset most of the time, and he wanted to know why. I had no explanation. No matter I what I did, I couldn’t seem to get through to Bill.

One day, I heard my doorbell ringing in the middle of the afternoon. Evan attended pre-school in the mornings, and I was on my way to pick him up and run errands. A well-dressed woman stood on the doorstep. Mistaking her for a salesperson, I told her that I was sorry, but I had no time to chat about whatever she was selling. She placed a set of papers in my mind, wished me a good day and walked away. I nearly crumpled in the door when I discovered I had just been served divorce papers.

The next several months were like slugging through mud. Turned out that Bill was having an affair with someone whom he had met through his job. The divorce proceedings were not a major battle. In fact, Bill gave me everything my attorney asked for including the house. I just wanted a better explanation as to why my husband felt he needed to be with another woman. We would sit across from each other in the lawyer’s office while ironing out the details of our divorce, and Bill would never meet my eyes. His attorney would do all of the talking, and Bill would bolt out of the door as soon as our meetings were over. I was stuck with trying to make sense of what happened, and having to explain to everyone why Bill and I were through. He didn’t even marry the woman he cheated on me with. My best guess is that when she found out that he had to give a good portion of his paycheck to Evan and I, she quickly lost interest.

I gave Bill credit for remaining a strong presence in our son’s life, however. Sometimes I felt he used his devotion to Evan as a way to compensate for dumping me. What bothered me was that I knew Bill’s girlfriends often went along when he took our son out. Evan was always telling me about some woman that his dad had introduced to him. I didn’t think that was healthy, exposing our son to a parade of women. I seldom dated after the divorce, and I never brought any of my dates around Evan. None of my dates turned into serious relationships, especially when they correctly guessed that Evan was part of the package. I was disappointed, but ultimately, I knew my son was more important that me seeking affection from fickle suitors. It didn’t make sense to me to have Evan form an attachment to any of my dates when it was clear they weren’t going to around in my life for long. When I told Bill my concern, he acted as if I was being jealous and unreasonable. Rather than start another argument, I dropped the subject. Besides, I didn’t have any evidence that any of Bill’s girlfriends were being mean to Evan. That changed when Debra came into the picture.

Bill called me several days later with a surprise. "I wanted you to be one of the first to know – I’m engaged."

I was taken aback for a second. Bill had given me the impression that he loved the bachelor lifestyle and was perfectly happy to keep playing the field indefinitely. "Well, congratulations. When is the wedding?" I asked.

"As soon as we can. Debra is going full-steam ahead with the plans," he explained. "Caty, I would like to take Evan to meet her."

"Really? Is this Debra the reason why you’ve been breaking so many promises to Evan?"

"Don’t start, Caty. I told you the last time couldn’t be helped. Besides, Debra wants to meet you, too," he said, with a bit of irritation.

"For what?" Bill’s upcoming nuptials were beginning to sink in. The idea of meeting of his bride-to-be wasn’t suddenly wasn’t that appealing. Neither was the idea of Evan having a stepmother.
Bill sighed at the tone of my voice. "We all need to get to know each other. It’ll be my treat. Please, Caty?"

The day of the lunch, Evan and I arrived at the restaurant Bill picked early. I kept my cell phone on in case my ex came up with another excuse as to why he couldn’t show up. Even if he and Debra didn’t show up, at least Evan and I could have a nice lunch. Bill paid both alimony and child support, and my parents helped me out, but I still had to watch my budget. I liked to cook, so it was rare that I took Evan out to eat.

We took a booth near the entrance so we could see Bill and his fiancée arrive. We didn’t have to wait long, when Bill appeared with a fashionably dressed woman with long, shiny auburn hair. He spotted Evan and I and waved before they came over to sit with us. It looked as if Debra had given me the once over with her eyes when Bill introduced us. I was dressed appropriately for the occasion, even though I wasn’t wearing designer labels like she was. I had also managed to keep my short, dark hair in place. Debra’s smile appeared insincere when she looked at Evan. The waiter quickly took our orders, and then left the four of us alone to talk.

Bill had known Debra for only a couple of months before he proposed to her. I noted that was about the same time Bill started breaking his promises to spend time with Evan. He explained that Debra was a top agent in the real estate Company. I assumed that she was making good enough money not to try and ease Bill out of his.

"Do you do anything other than take care of your son?" Debra suddenly asked me. Evan is Bill’s son, too, I thought. Immediately, I got the sense that she was looking down on me because I was not a fast-moving career woman like she was. I ignored her snide tone and answered her.

"I have a part-time job at a craft store in the mall. When Evan starts first grade, I’ll take on more hours, but for now, I like to be there for him when he comes home from school. Besides, there’s always something to do around the house."

Debra raised her eyebrows. "I couldn’t be satisfied with homemaking being the main part of my day."

By this time, the waiter had brought appetizers and salads, so Evan was too busy eating to pay attention to the adults’ conversation. I patted his hand. "When you have a child, you’ll find that you can’t get around not taking care of the housework."

Debra put an arm around my ex-husband’s shoulders, and laughed derisively. "I’m not having any kids. I have too many other things to do, right honey?"

Bill just grunted and attacked his salad. I let the subject drop. I couldn’t help but wonder how she was going to ignore the fact that her soon-to-be husband already had a child. The rest of the lunch consisted of Debra bragging about her career accomplishments and their wedding plans. Bill was perfectly comfortable letting her do all of the talking. I also noticed that other than saying hello, she barely acknowledged Evan the rest of the time we were at the restaurant. I couldn’t wait to take Evan and get out of there.

Much later, Bill called to ask what I thought of Debra. I tried to be as diplomatic as possible. Bill asked to take Evan to a nearby amusement park that weekend. Pre-school was over for the year at the end of the week, so I told him it would be fine. Little did I know that would give me more strong hints about how Bill’s fiancée really felt about Evan.

Evan is normally an even-tempered child, but he appeared to be highly irritated when Bill dropped him off at home later that day. Evan asked to go upstairs, and barely said goodbye to his dad. "What happened?" I asked Bill after Evan went up to his room.

Bill rubbed his eyes over his face and sighed. "Evan just has to learn that he can’t have his way all of the time. We had to leave the amusement park earlier than he wanted."

"Kiddy World closes at 6:00 PM, and it’s after eight. If you left earlier than closing time, why are you just now bringing him home?" I asked.

"Well, uh, Debra remembered she had to run an errand. It was a last minute thing, and – "

"You didn’t tell me that Debra went to the park, too," I said, suspicion suddenly washing over me.

My ex leaned in the doorway. "She had to go in for another fitting at the bridal shop. I didn’t think it would take very long, but when we got there at 3:30 PM, Debra found out extra adjustments had to be made."

I took Bill’s arm and dragged him out on the front porch. "You had our son sitting around in a dress shop all this time! You knew Evan had been looking forward to spending all day at Kiddy World!"

Bill backed down the steps. "I don’t want to hear you yelling. I’ll make it up to him, okay?" Before I could say anything else, he sprinted to his car and sped off.

Evan was already in his pajamas, in bed and reading one of his comic books when I came upstairs. "I’m sorry you didn’t have much fun today," I told him, ruffling his hair.
"I had fun, Mom. Well, before Miss Debra called anyway," he said, looking at me with those big green eyes of his.

"When did she call, son?"

"Dad’s cell phone rang when we got off the Ferris wheel. We were supposed to get hot dogs, but Dad said we had to pick up Miss Debra. He told me we were going to come back to the park later."

"Dad said you went to a dress shop."

"It was so boring. Miss Debra made me sit in a chair while she and her friends giggled and tried on dresses. When I asked Dad when we going back to the park, Miss Debra got mad at me and told me to be quiet."

I felt my blood pressure rising. "And what did your dad say to her?"

"Nothing."

I said prayers with Evan, and then tucked him into bed. I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea. I was furious. Bill not only cut the day short, but he had lied to the child as well. I blamed myself for letting him get away with that behavior for so long. Bill should have considered himself lucky. I heard of many women who had full-custody like I did, and they denied visitation rights to their ex-husbands out of spite. However, despite of what happened between Bill and I, I had always felt that Evan should not be denied having a relationship with his father. My ex definitely did not have his priorities in order, but he was going to get it together, even if I had to drag him to do it. I made up my mind that Debra’s high maintenance ways wasn’t going to steamroll over my son again.

My church decided to have a Men’s Day that year. It was going to be a fun day of activities for fathers and sons. The special events committee had been planning it for months, and anticipation was high. My dad volunteered to take Evan to the event. While I appreciated my dad making the effort, I didn’t want my son to be one of the few boys there without his dad. We lived in a small suburban town; in the church we attended, there weren’t very many divorcees or singles. I didn’t want Evan to stand out. It wasn’t his fault that Bill didn’t want to be married to me anymore.

A big baseball game was going to be part of Men’s Day, and I knew Evan loved to play. I told Bill that it would be nice if he brought a new catcher’s mitt for him in advance of taking him to the event. "Uh, about that, Caty. . .wasn’t your dad planning to take Evan to church that day?" Bill asked.

"My parents are going to be out of town visiting friends that Sunday," I quickly said.

"Well, I, uh, have to check my schedule," Bill stammered.

"Debra can’t go to a dress fitting by herself, is that it?" I sarcastically remarked.

"There’s a lot of planning that goes into a wedding, Caty."

"Like I wouldn’t know that. Look, I’m giving you enough notice to get Men’s Day in your appointment book. Evan’s expecting you to take him," I firmly said.

Bill gave me some excuse about having to call a business associate, and he ended the phone call. I slammed the receiver down. He had another thing coming if he thought he was going to get out of this one. I kept calling him with reminders about Men’s Day for the next few weeks, but most of the time, I got his voice mail. I kept assuring Evan that his dad would take him, but as the day grew closer, I began to panic. Bill had not spent any time with Evan, neither did he confirm he’d take him to Men’s Day. I didn’t want Evan to be disappointed. I could take him, but it wouldn’t be the same as having his dad there.

The day of the event, I took Evan home after church so he could change his clothes. While he was upstairs, I kept scanning the street for Bill’s car. It came time for Evan to go back to church for Men’s Day, and his dad was nowhere to be found. I was so angry. I knew other single mothers regularly ran down their kids’ fathers in front of them, but I didn’t want to do that. I was trying to figure out a way to tell Evan that his dad couldn’t make it without pointing out Bill’s shortcomings. Suddenly, I saw a sports car pull up. My sigh of relief turned into irritation when I saw Debra getting out of the driver’s side after Bill stepped out of the other side.
I strolled out onto the porch to meet them. Bill looked nervous, as Debra held tightly onto his arm. I noticed Bill was carrying a catcher’s mitt. "Bill, Evan can’t wait to use that catcher’s mitt at the baseball game today," I sweetly said.

Debra smiled at me, but her eyes were narrowed as she spoke. "Seems that Bill forgot to tell you that we have some details we have to work out with the caterer this afternoon. Isn’t that right, honey?"

"Yeah," Bill said. I glared at him, but he couldn’t even look me in my face.

Debra continued as if nothing was wrong. "I wanted to make sure that we were able to come by and drop off Evan’s gift before we go."

I stepped closer to Bill. "You knew that Evan’s grandfather couldn’t take him. Now I’m going to call Evan downstairs, and you two are going up to the church."

Debra’s smile faded into a tight line. "Today is the best time this week to catch our caterer. I’m sure you can understand that, Caty."

"You can manage to do that on your own, Debra. I didn’t have to drag Bill around me with everywhere when we were planning our wedding." I said, turning on her.

"That was then, and this is now," she said with a major attitude. She could have slapped me and it would have had the same negative effect.

"Evan! Your dad is here!" I called out.

"Bill, we don’t have time for this," Debra whispered to Bill, mistakenly thinking I couldn’t hear her.

"You can wait until tomorrow. Caterers, florists, dressmakers, and whoever else the hell you need will be open on Monday," I shot out.

"I have a busy career, sweetie, so I don’t have time to take off work to take care of these things." Debra growled.

"Just like Bill didn’t have time to take Evan back to the amusement park after you and your bridesmaids had a fitting?"

"Wait a minute, Caty –", Bill started, but my stern look cut him off.

"You sat there and allowed her to yell at him. How did you expect the boy to sit there for hours and not fidget, Bill?"

Bill had the good sense not to deny what he had done. He looked down at his feet instead. Debra looked past me. I turned to see Evan had come down the stairs. His presence egged her on.
"It’s not my problem that you never taught your brat how to act out in public," she sneered.

I would have liked nothing better than pushing her down the front steps of my house, but I forced myself to keep my cool. "It’s one thing to disrespect me, Debra, but I’m not going to stand for you disrespecting my son. If you get married to Bill, you’d better get used to the fact that Evan will always be a part of his life!"

Debra looked at Bill. "I suspected that she’d use the kid to play games like this. Well, I’m so sorry you weren’t able to keep him, Caty, but you need to get over it. We are going, Bill. Now."

Evan looked at Bill. "Are we going to Men’s Day, Dad?"

Bill looked from Debra to Evan and didn’t move. I guess he waited too long to say something, because Debra stormed off the porch, hopped in her car and sped away.

"What’s wrong with her?" Evan asked, looking quizzically at both Bill and I.

"She’ll be fine. You ready to go, son?" Bill said, giving me a small smile.

Bill and Evan had a great time at Men’s Day. Later, Bill called me and apologized for allowing Debra to intrude on his time with Evan. I wasn’t surprised when he and Debra broke up soon afterwards. He never told me exactly what happened, but I heard through the grapevine that she took up with some jet-setting businessman who had no children. They’ve been traveling ever since. I guess Debra found the lifestyle she really wanted.

Bill and Evan have become a lot closer since then. Whatever lingering resentment I had towards my ex disappeared, and I was able to act more civil towards him than I had before. We’ll never be a family again in the normal sense, but I feel better than we can agree that our son’s happiness is the most important thing.

The President and College

Mike Q., who is the president of the IL Boxing Association, came by the gym, with a woman named Tiffany, whom he trains. Tiffany is Candace's sister, and she's been boxing for awhile. Tiffany was doing a footwork exercise that looked very good. I'm always having to work on mine, so I'm going to start doing that exercise, too.

The posters asking for volunteers for the World Boxing Championships are out, and they look very nice. I'm going to get more information because I would like to help out. It'll be cool to meet other boxers from other countries.

Wally announced that he is leaving to go to college. He's majors in computer science at Rusk. There have been a lot of college students and grads attending the gym over the years. Jermaine, Danny, Gabe, Josh, Raquel, Bregina, Ben and Terrell are just a few, not to mention Steve, who's completing his Ph.D. I have a college degree in Management. And people say boxers are dumb. . .ha!