Second Confession

Here is the other story I sold. Once again, remember that the title and the names have changed in the published version. The confession magazine owns all rights to this story now, so they have made changes as they saw fit. Comments welcomed.


MY EX NEEDS TO CHOOSE – OUR SON OR HIS FIANCÈE
"You come back here right now and explain it to him yourself, Bill!" I snapped. My ex-husband quickly backed down the front steps of the house we used to share and towards his car. "I can’t, Caty. I’m already running late," he said before speeding off. I stood and fumed for a few moments before going back inside the house. I was left alone to tell our son that his dad had broken another promise to spend time with him – again.

Bill and I had separated when Evan was very small. It was still hard for me to wrap my mind around what went wrong. Bill and I met while we were in college. He was a senior on his way to a career in business, and I was a freshman still trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. After I met Bill however, it was apparent that the only thing I wanted to do was to be at his side. We spent every moment out of class with each other. Bill graduated that spring and not long afterwards, I left school to be his wife. My parents weren’t happy with me stopping my education, but when they met Bill, they liked him instantly. He and I built a home together, and I was satisfied with being a homemaker and stay-at-home mom to Evan.

It was around the time Evan began pre-school that I began to notice changes between Bill and I. He used to confide his dreams and troubles to me. Our regular heartfelt talks tapered off, then stopped altogether. When I asked Bill what was wrong, he would clam up. He spent more and more time at his job, or so that’s what he told me. When I questioned him about all the time he spent away from home, he’d snap that he was working hard for the family and accuse me of being unappreciative of his efforts. Even Evan sensed that his dad was upset most of the time, and he wanted to know why. I had no explanation. No matter I what I did, I couldn’t seem to get through to Bill.

One day, I heard my doorbell ringing in the middle of the afternoon. Evan attended pre-school in the mornings, and I was on my way to pick him up and run errands. A well-dressed woman stood on the doorstep. Mistaking her for a salesperson, I told her that I was sorry, but I had no time to chat about whatever she was selling. She placed a set of papers in my mind, wished me a good day and walked away. I nearly crumpled in the door when I discovered I had just been served divorce papers.

The next several months were like slugging through mud. Turned out that Bill was having an affair with someone whom he had met through his job. The divorce proceedings were not a major battle. In fact, Bill gave me everything my attorney asked for including the house. I just wanted a better explanation as to why my husband felt he needed to be with another woman. We would sit across from each other in the lawyer’s office while ironing out the details of our divorce, and Bill would never meet my eyes. His attorney would do all of the talking, and Bill would bolt out of the door as soon as our meetings were over. I was stuck with trying to make sense of what happened, and having to explain to everyone why Bill and I were through. He didn’t even marry the woman he cheated on me with. My best guess is that when she found out that he had to give a good portion of his paycheck to Evan and I, she quickly lost interest.

I gave Bill credit for remaining a strong presence in our son’s life, however. Sometimes I felt he used his devotion to Evan as a way to compensate for dumping me. What bothered me was that I knew Bill’s girlfriends often went along when he took our son out. Evan was always telling me about some woman that his dad had introduced to him. I didn’t think that was healthy, exposing our son to a parade of women. I seldom dated after the divorce, and I never brought any of my dates around Evan. None of my dates turned into serious relationships, especially when they correctly guessed that Evan was part of the package. I was disappointed, but ultimately, I knew my son was more important that me seeking affection from fickle suitors. It didn’t make sense to me to have Evan form an attachment to any of my dates when it was clear they weren’t going to around in my life for long. When I told Bill my concern, he acted as if I was being jealous and unreasonable. Rather than start another argument, I dropped the subject. Besides, I didn’t have any evidence that any of Bill’s girlfriends were being mean to Evan. That changed when Debra came into the picture.

Bill called me several days later with a surprise. "I wanted you to be one of the first to know – I’m engaged."

I was taken aback for a second. Bill had given me the impression that he loved the bachelor lifestyle and was perfectly happy to keep playing the field indefinitely. "Well, congratulations. When is the wedding?" I asked.

"As soon as we can. Debra is going full-steam ahead with the plans," he explained. "Caty, I would like to take Evan to meet her."

"Really? Is this Debra the reason why you’ve been breaking so many promises to Evan?"

"Don’t start, Caty. I told you the last time couldn’t be helped. Besides, Debra wants to meet you, too," he said, with a bit of irritation.

"For what?" Bill’s upcoming nuptials were beginning to sink in. The idea of meeting of his bride-to-be wasn’t suddenly wasn’t that appealing. Neither was the idea of Evan having a stepmother.
Bill sighed at the tone of my voice. "We all need to get to know each other. It’ll be my treat. Please, Caty?"

The day of the lunch, Evan and I arrived at the restaurant Bill picked early. I kept my cell phone on in case my ex came up with another excuse as to why he couldn’t show up. Even if he and Debra didn’t show up, at least Evan and I could have a nice lunch. Bill paid both alimony and child support, and my parents helped me out, but I still had to watch my budget. I liked to cook, so it was rare that I took Evan out to eat.

We took a booth near the entrance so we could see Bill and his fiancée arrive. We didn’t have to wait long, when Bill appeared with a fashionably dressed woman with long, shiny auburn hair. He spotted Evan and I and waved before they came over to sit with us. It looked as if Debra had given me the once over with her eyes when Bill introduced us. I was dressed appropriately for the occasion, even though I wasn’t wearing designer labels like she was. I had also managed to keep my short, dark hair in place. Debra’s smile appeared insincere when she looked at Evan. The waiter quickly took our orders, and then left the four of us alone to talk.

Bill had known Debra for only a couple of months before he proposed to her. I noted that was about the same time Bill started breaking his promises to spend time with Evan. He explained that Debra was a top agent in the real estate Company. I assumed that she was making good enough money not to try and ease Bill out of his.

"Do you do anything other than take care of your son?" Debra suddenly asked me. Evan is Bill’s son, too, I thought. Immediately, I got the sense that she was looking down on me because I was not a fast-moving career woman like she was. I ignored her snide tone and answered her.

"I have a part-time job at a craft store in the mall. When Evan starts first grade, I’ll take on more hours, but for now, I like to be there for him when he comes home from school. Besides, there’s always something to do around the house."

Debra raised her eyebrows. "I couldn’t be satisfied with homemaking being the main part of my day."

By this time, the waiter had brought appetizers and salads, so Evan was too busy eating to pay attention to the adults’ conversation. I patted his hand. "When you have a child, you’ll find that you can’t get around not taking care of the housework."

Debra put an arm around my ex-husband’s shoulders, and laughed derisively. "I’m not having any kids. I have too many other things to do, right honey?"

Bill just grunted and attacked his salad. I let the subject drop. I couldn’t help but wonder how she was going to ignore the fact that her soon-to-be husband already had a child. The rest of the lunch consisted of Debra bragging about her career accomplishments and their wedding plans. Bill was perfectly comfortable letting her do all of the talking. I also noticed that other than saying hello, she barely acknowledged Evan the rest of the time we were at the restaurant. I couldn’t wait to take Evan and get out of there.

Much later, Bill called to ask what I thought of Debra. I tried to be as diplomatic as possible. Bill asked to take Evan to a nearby amusement park that weekend. Pre-school was over for the year at the end of the week, so I told him it would be fine. Little did I know that would give me more strong hints about how Bill’s fiancée really felt about Evan.

Evan is normally an even-tempered child, but he appeared to be highly irritated when Bill dropped him off at home later that day. Evan asked to go upstairs, and barely said goodbye to his dad. "What happened?" I asked Bill after Evan went up to his room.

Bill rubbed his eyes over his face and sighed. "Evan just has to learn that he can’t have his way all of the time. We had to leave the amusement park earlier than he wanted."

"Kiddy World closes at 6:00 PM, and it’s after eight. If you left earlier than closing time, why are you just now bringing him home?" I asked.

"Well, uh, Debra remembered she had to run an errand. It was a last minute thing, and – "

"You didn’t tell me that Debra went to the park, too," I said, suspicion suddenly washing over me.

My ex leaned in the doorway. "She had to go in for another fitting at the bridal shop. I didn’t think it would take very long, but when we got there at 3:30 PM, Debra found out extra adjustments had to be made."

I took Bill’s arm and dragged him out on the front porch. "You had our son sitting around in a dress shop all this time! You knew Evan had been looking forward to spending all day at Kiddy World!"

Bill backed down the steps. "I don’t want to hear you yelling. I’ll make it up to him, okay?" Before I could say anything else, he sprinted to his car and sped off.

Evan was already in his pajamas, in bed and reading one of his comic books when I came upstairs. "I’m sorry you didn’t have much fun today," I told him, ruffling his hair.
"I had fun, Mom. Well, before Miss Debra called anyway," he said, looking at me with those big green eyes of his.

"When did she call, son?"

"Dad’s cell phone rang when we got off the Ferris wheel. We were supposed to get hot dogs, but Dad said we had to pick up Miss Debra. He told me we were going to come back to the park later."

"Dad said you went to a dress shop."

"It was so boring. Miss Debra made me sit in a chair while she and her friends giggled and tried on dresses. When I asked Dad when we going back to the park, Miss Debra got mad at me and told me to be quiet."

I felt my blood pressure rising. "And what did your dad say to her?"

"Nothing."

I said prayers with Evan, and then tucked him into bed. I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of tea. I was furious. Bill not only cut the day short, but he had lied to the child as well. I blamed myself for letting him get away with that behavior for so long. Bill should have considered himself lucky. I heard of many women who had full-custody like I did, and they denied visitation rights to their ex-husbands out of spite. However, despite of what happened between Bill and I, I had always felt that Evan should not be denied having a relationship with his father. My ex definitely did not have his priorities in order, but he was going to get it together, even if I had to drag him to do it. I made up my mind that Debra’s high maintenance ways wasn’t going to steamroll over my son again.

My church decided to have a Men’s Day that year. It was going to be a fun day of activities for fathers and sons. The special events committee had been planning it for months, and anticipation was high. My dad volunteered to take Evan to the event. While I appreciated my dad making the effort, I didn’t want my son to be one of the few boys there without his dad. We lived in a small suburban town; in the church we attended, there weren’t very many divorcees or singles. I didn’t want Evan to stand out. It wasn’t his fault that Bill didn’t want to be married to me anymore.

A big baseball game was going to be part of Men’s Day, and I knew Evan loved to play. I told Bill that it would be nice if he brought a new catcher’s mitt for him in advance of taking him to the event. "Uh, about that, Caty. . .wasn’t your dad planning to take Evan to church that day?" Bill asked.

"My parents are going to be out of town visiting friends that Sunday," I quickly said.

"Well, I, uh, have to check my schedule," Bill stammered.

"Debra can’t go to a dress fitting by herself, is that it?" I sarcastically remarked.

"There’s a lot of planning that goes into a wedding, Caty."

"Like I wouldn’t know that. Look, I’m giving you enough notice to get Men’s Day in your appointment book. Evan’s expecting you to take him," I firmly said.

Bill gave me some excuse about having to call a business associate, and he ended the phone call. I slammed the receiver down. He had another thing coming if he thought he was going to get out of this one. I kept calling him with reminders about Men’s Day for the next few weeks, but most of the time, I got his voice mail. I kept assuring Evan that his dad would take him, but as the day grew closer, I began to panic. Bill had not spent any time with Evan, neither did he confirm he’d take him to Men’s Day. I didn’t want Evan to be disappointed. I could take him, but it wouldn’t be the same as having his dad there.

The day of the event, I took Evan home after church so he could change his clothes. While he was upstairs, I kept scanning the street for Bill’s car. It came time for Evan to go back to church for Men’s Day, and his dad was nowhere to be found. I was so angry. I knew other single mothers regularly ran down their kids’ fathers in front of them, but I didn’t want to do that. I was trying to figure out a way to tell Evan that his dad couldn’t make it without pointing out Bill’s shortcomings. Suddenly, I saw a sports car pull up. My sigh of relief turned into irritation when I saw Debra getting out of the driver’s side after Bill stepped out of the other side.
I strolled out onto the porch to meet them. Bill looked nervous, as Debra held tightly onto his arm. I noticed Bill was carrying a catcher’s mitt. "Bill, Evan can’t wait to use that catcher’s mitt at the baseball game today," I sweetly said.

Debra smiled at me, but her eyes were narrowed as she spoke. "Seems that Bill forgot to tell you that we have some details we have to work out with the caterer this afternoon. Isn’t that right, honey?"

"Yeah," Bill said. I glared at him, but he couldn’t even look me in my face.

Debra continued as if nothing was wrong. "I wanted to make sure that we were able to come by and drop off Evan’s gift before we go."

I stepped closer to Bill. "You knew that Evan’s grandfather couldn’t take him. Now I’m going to call Evan downstairs, and you two are going up to the church."

Debra’s smile faded into a tight line. "Today is the best time this week to catch our caterer. I’m sure you can understand that, Caty."

"You can manage to do that on your own, Debra. I didn’t have to drag Bill around me with everywhere when we were planning our wedding." I said, turning on her.

"That was then, and this is now," she said with a major attitude. She could have slapped me and it would have had the same negative effect.

"Evan! Your dad is here!" I called out.

"Bill, we don’t have time for this," Debra whispered to Bill, mistakenly thinking I couldn’t hear her.

"You can wait until tomorrow. Caterers, florists, dressmakers, and whoever else the hell you need will be open on Monday," I shot out.

"I have a busy career, sweetie, so I don’t have time to take off work to take care of these things." Debra growled.

"Just like Bill didn’t have time to take Evan back to the amusement park after you and your bridesmaids had a fitting?"

"Wait a minute, Caty –", Bill started, but my stern look cut him off.

"You sat there and allowed her to yell at him. How did you expect the boy to sit there for hours and not fidget, Bill?"

Bill had the good sense not to deny what he had done. He looked down at his feet instead. Debra looked past me. I turned to see Evan had come down the stairs. His presence egged her on.
"It’s not my problem that you never taught your brat how to act out in public," she sneered.

I would have liked nothing better than pushing her down the front steps of my house, but I forced myself to keep my cool. "It’s one thing to disrespect me, Debra, but I’m not going to stand for you disrespecting my son. If you get married to Bill, you’d better get used to the fact that Evan will always be a part of his life!"

Debra looked at Bill. "I suspected that she’d use the kid to play games like this. Well, I’m so sorry you weren’t able to keep him, Caty, but you need to get over it. We are going, Bill. Now."

Evan looked at Bill. "Are we going to Men’s Day, Dad?"

Bill looked from Debra to Evan and didn’t move. I guess he waited too long to say something, because Debra stormed off the porch, hopped in her car and sped away.

"What’s wrong with her?" Evan asked, looking quizzically at both Bill and I.

"She’ll be fine. You ready to go, son?" Bill said, giving me a small smile.

Bill and Evan had a great time at Men’s Day. Later, Bill called me and apologized for allowing Debra to intrude on his time with Evan. I wasn’t surprised when he and Debra broke up soon afterwards. He never told me exactly what happened, but I heard through the grapevine that she took up with some jet-setting businessman who had no children. They’ve been traveling ever since. I guess Debra found the lifestyle she really wanted.

Bill and Evan have become a lot closer since then. Whatever lingering resentment I had towards my ex disappeared, and I was able to act more civil towards him than I had before. We’ll never be a family again in the normal sense, but I feel better than we can agree that our son’s happiness is the most important thing.