When A Meeting Is Not The Answer

When I first began coaching at the Chicago Park District, I attempted to set up meetings with parents and guardians to explain the boxing program.  There were no takers.

Eventually, I had the line "Must speak with the instructor before registering" added to fliers about the class as well as in the class listing online.  Only a few actually walk in to see me.  The rest bypass the talk especially when online registration hasn't closed. 

The two main and wrong reasons parents and guardians register youths for the boxing program are to have free babysitting and for the youths to learn self-defense.  Conflicts begin when the parents, guardians, and youths run into the park district and the boxing program's rules and regulations without learning what those are before class start.

Full disclosure here - my patience with most kids is thin.  My parents were the same way only unlike me, Ma and Dad didn't figure that out before they had children.  My low patience was one of the reasons I opted out of parenthood.  There are many parents and guardians at the field house who also don't seem to have much patience with kids.  I get the feeling that some adults are irritated that the school day isn't long enough to keep the kids out of the house.  The next best thing is to send them off to after-school activities.  However, some of the adults don't particularly care about their kids having any kind of enrichment experience from being part of after-school programs. 

I'm always wondering - if the parents and guardians don't want to be bothered with their own kids, why do they think or expect that others want to be bothered?  When faced with a room full of youths who don't want to be in the gym but are on the premises because the people who are raising them have dumped them there, that makes for a long, frustrating work day. 

In light of the fact that most schools, even up through the college level, have zero tolerance for violence policies in place, I'm surprised that a lot of kids are being told to hit back when picked on.  Too many parents and guardians come to me with, "I want my kids to know how to defend themselves."  One parent actually told me, "I know boxing is not a self-defense class, but could you show my kid a few things so they can fight off other kids at school?"  Seeing how weapons are involved in a lot of fights these days, I don't understand how parents and guardians think fists alone will be a good defense against blades and bullets. 

Even when I have the chance to talk to people before registrations take place, I get the impression that most of the information I give out goes into one ear and out of the other.  Some people expect to be accommodated in what they want to do despite established rules.  When I make it clear that I can't and won't bend the rules, class attendance goes down, often to zero.

So why should I bother to have meetings with parents and guardians?  The older I become, the more aware I am that my time needs to be used wisely.  I keep being confronted with parents, guardians, and youths who seem determined to not only waste my time but theirs as well.  The program works better when everyone is on the same page, but that seldom happens.