If Only

I often watch boxing technique videos.  "That would be very helpful and very cool to show to the people at the gym," I think to myself.  Then comes the realization that people actually have to show up to the gym in order for me to give them that knowledge.  Henry and David haven't been in training for two days.  Malik, despite all his talk about changing his schedule around to be there more often, wasn't there yesterday.  Damaris didn't show up, and neither did Koreon.  Everyone else on the attendance list continues to be MIA.  I haven't heard anything from Sahia recently, and I'm becoming concerned about that. 

Lael came in, but he only confirmed what I already knew:  Lael doesn't want to fight.  Like many youths who have passed through there, Lael doesn't have much motivation.  I had to ask twice before I received an answer from him about whether or not he wants to compete.  It's not like there are many chances left this year; I've already decided not to go to the last shows that are scheduled for November.  Lael's answer told me the usual; a love of the idea of being in a boxing, but no real interest in doing the work to get good at it.

This is how it works with me.  When the participants are operating on all cylinders, my energy goes way up.  Regardless of the fact that I have arthritic knees, lower back pain, left leg weakness, and I'm sometimes tired because of diabetes, I find the energy and make it work.  When the participants walk in there displaying low energy, my mood goes down.  I don't have much interest in being around people for several hours who act as if they would rather be someone else.  It makes what is normally a pleasant job hard to take.  Oh, I still do my job, but I'm not going to knock myself for people who show me indifference to what is supposed to go on in the gym.

If only I had a gym full of interested, motivated, serious, and hard-working participants,  I know some of the other park district boxing coaches have no problem filling up their gyms with those types of people.  But it has never been that way where I'm located.  I need to stop feeling guilty about what I may be doing or not doing because I've always known there are other factors -- most of which I have no control over -- that contribute to the state of the boxing program there.