About Self-Defense and Gym Squabbles

I keep thinking about the parents who have placed their kids in the boxing gym in order for the kids to learn how to defend themselves.  On the surface, it is a good idea.  However, I've changed my stance about that slightly since I've become a coach.

It would be nice if most of the parents would ask their kids if they want to be in boxing.  Some do, but most don't make it a choice.  Sure, some kids will eventually get tired of being bullied and start kicking tail, like I eventually did when I was young.  But every kid doesn't have the desire to be confrontational.  There are also the kids like Princess, who love to write checks their behinds can't cash.  I would like it if some parents really took good notes about their kids before signing them up to participate in any combat sport.

Some of the older kids think they don't have much to learn in boxing because they've already had a number of street fights.  Boxing does have a bit of a disadvantage in a street fight because unlike the sweet science, street fights don't have rules.  In fact, knowing mixed martial arts would probably be better in regards to handling street confrontations.  However, a little bit of knowledge can sometimes get people in trouble, especially for some of the kids who have already had brushes with the law.  If they get into a street fight, can't clearly prove they were acting in self-defense, and the law finds out they know how to box. . . .there will be legal problems galore.

Yesterday, I was holding the punch mitts for Marine, who has some good, solid hands.  Tough and Little J had some squabbling going on.  They kept running in and out of the ring while Marine and I were in there.  Little J ran right in-between Marine and I, narrowly missing being caught by Marine's punches.  Tough kept pestering me about Little J's behavior.  "Look, don't come into the ring while I am running drills with someone nor when there is sparring taking place.  People can get hurt!  I can't pay attention to what everybody wants and the person standing in front of me at the same time," I warned.  "Little J keeps hitting me," Tough whined.  "Ignore him!" I said curtly, returning my focus to Marine.

 Ma used to tell me to ignore kids who were verbally picking on me when I was in grade school.  Honestly, I don't like when I sound like my mother, which happens too often when I'm attempting to keep order in the gym.  But I wonder what the youths' parents are telling them at home about handling conflicts with others.  I didn't hear Little J's comments as much, but Tough was talking as loud as she could.  I couldn't figure out what set her off to cause her to threaten to hit Little J nor why she was insulting Curly.  Anger management seems to be in order, not only for Tough, but several of the other kids, too.  If they would take more of their frustrations out on the gym equipment, that would help.

"Sparring is practice fighting," I keep repeating every time one of the youth asks who won after a sparring session.  I need to put a poster up on the wall with big bold letters saying, "Worry about winning a real boxing match."  Many coaches/trainers have emphasized how important it is that fighters correct the bad habits seen during sparring.  I do my best to correct what I see.  Unfortunately, some of the kids aren't going to understand why certain techniques need to be followed until after losing a fight and perhaps, getting hurt.  I don't want to see any of the kids get hurt.  But some kids still can't separate boxing from street fights and what they see during professional wrestling matches and the UFC bouts.  Even more of a concern is that a few of them insist on not learning the difference.  That reminds me of what older people used to say when I was a kid:  a hard-head makes for a soft behind.  Kids being hard-headed during training is surely not going to help when they go into the park district boxing shows.

 

Baby Boxing

Every time I see Isaac, Pastor Roger and Virginia's son, I comment on how big the boy's hands are.   I had the pleasure of holding him in my arms last week.  His mom had to step away for a few moments, and I had agreed to watch the baby.  "You're just a big, strapping, healthy boy, aren't you?" I cooed as I held him up in the air.  He responded by become agitated.  "She'll be back, I promised," I said, in a vain attempt to soothe him.  I have to give Virginia credit for carrying him around all the time.  Isaac is a whopper. 

"As soon as you start walking, the boxing lessons will begin," I always tell the baby.  It's funny to see the suspicious looks that Isaac gives me when I say that.  His expression seems to say, "Yeah right, chick.  Daddy already told me about you."  His parents smile, but Pastor is not a boxing fan, and I don't think Virgina, like a lot of moms, want to see their child giving and taking punches.  It's an idea, though.  I'm of the mind that all boys -- and the girls, too -- should know how to defend themselves.  If I had children, I'd be that parent that principals and teachers would hate.  The scenario would go like this: I would be summoned to the school because my kid beat up another kid.  I'd ask my son/daughter what happened. As soon as I learned my kid was standing up for themselves against a bully, I'd inform the principal and teachers, "I've taught them to hit back and hit hard to back someone off of them.  I'm not raising my kid to be a victim.  Nor am I going to make it my problem because the school can't seem to put bullies in check."   My mother basically said the same thing when schools would call her about me.  In addition, I'd fight any suspension or expulsion that was handed down to my kid. 

Roland came into the gym last night and talked to Alan about taking lessons.  Alan told him that he had to come back on Tuesday or Thursday to talk to Barry.  You see, Roland is 12 years old going on thirteen.  I talked to him also, emphasizing that boxing lessons are free for those under age eighteen.  "Coach Barry is going to want to talk to your parent or guardian, because he wants to make sure they're gonna be cool with you boxing," I said.  Roland understood, and he was okay with that.  He told me that he saw me fight during last year's Loyola Park Boxing show.  "It wasn't easy because she was bigger than me," I said, not mentioning that she was also younger.  "That when you have to have heart," Roland smiled.

Alan told Leon that I had boxed in that show, and the big man was surprised.  "She sang the National Anthem, too, and then turned around and fought," Alan grinned.  "For real?  She's got all kind of action going on," Leon laughed. 

Matthieu sparred with the Colonel for a couple of rounds.  Sarah and I sparred after that, and we were back to throwing harder punches.  Once Sarah gets going, she never lets up on the ol' one-two.  She hit me in my right eye and knocked me silly.  My vision was off for several minutes behind that, but I kept going.  She kept backing me up into the ropes and the corners, and Alan called out, "Hillari, keep punching while backing up!"  Not easy to do, especially when the other person is taller and has long arms.  We went for three full rounds.  After the last bell, I heard Alan tell Sarah that while it was good that she kept punching, she might not be able to do that easily against an opponent who is her size and height. 

Erica appeared at my side while Jacob sparred with Mike L (there have been so many guys named Mike in that gym; I have to keep them all straight).  "It wouldn't be gym time if I didn't come around and harass you," she smiled.  She had stepped out of the room when her boyfriend Matthieu sparred with the Colonel.  Mike L. took a few hard pops in the face from Jacob, and she winced.  Erica admitted that she had never been hit in the face, nor had been ever been in a fight.  "I don't know how I would take that.  If I would back off and say, 'Okay, this is a sport', or if I would get angry," she said.  "I think sometimes the guys have a hard time differentiating when it comes to that," I answered, thinking about the matches I had seen in the amateurs and the professionals ranks that turned into personal wars.  Thank God I haven't been in any sparring sessions that went that way; I've seen some of those come dangerously close to becoming street fights, too. 

Professor brought his girlfriend Kelly to the gym for a second time, and he formally introduced her to everyone.  She got in a workout, including throwing around the medicine ball with some of the other guys. 

Alan made an annoucement that those who haven't paid the boxing fee yet have to do that by Monday.  There are several who haven't done that yet.  "It's unfair to the people who have paid to be in here.  Also, the gym is small and it gets crowded quickly when there's a lot of people who are in here working out but who are not paid up."  The small space is one of the main reasons why the gym can't operate on a drop-in basis, even if the rules changed to allow people to pay day fees to workout.