Wednesday, April 18, 2018

The Problem With Some Parents and Guardians



Normally, I don't make more than one courtesy call to boxing program participants to remind them that class has started and they need to come in.  I had a hunch that I should make a second call to one of the kids whom I haven't seen yet in the gym.  Good thing I wasn't using Skype while talking to the parent.  They would have caught all of my sarcastic facial expressions.

I had initially called and left a message two weeks ago when their kid didn't show up for the first week of class.  "I got your voicemail, but I didn't have the phone number to the field house," was the excuse I received.  That information would not have been hard to find either by dialing information or looking it up on the Internet.  Then the parent told me they were not paying attention to the information regarding when the class meets.  "We need something that starts at a different time," they told me.  I had to explain what should have been common sense to that parent -- kids' activities can't start too early nor too late in the day due to school schedules.  They had the impression that the park district can just change class/activity times to suit everybody who can't fit things into their personal schedules.  The parent had decided a couple of weeks ago to take the kid out of the class.  Obviously, informing me of that decision was not a high priority.

Anyone who whose job involves dealing with kids and teens has to also deal with parents and guardians who are not on point.  It makes our jobs difficult.  The negative behaviors and attitudes we encounter with kids and teens are usually because their parents are modeling those traits at home.  We can give out positive messages to youths all day long, but if nothing we say is being reinforced at home, all of the talking is wasted effort.

I'm not a coddler.  I'm not a hand-holder.  I don't like having to repeat myself.  My patience is razor-thin in situations when it's obvious that rules, regulations, and boundaries I've set are being ignored and trampled on.  I don't appreciate when people think they can just disrespect and use me at will.  My usual response to parents who appear to not care about matters concerning their kids is if they don't care, I don't either.  I didn't carry any of those kids for nine months.  I'm not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or social worker.  Nor am I a babysitter.

What I am responsible for is running a gym and coaching to the best of my ability.  I will go the extra mile to assist youths who show me motivation, responsibility, and respect for me and others in the gym.  I have had several kids in the gym who were great.  But even some of the kids who were great to work with had parents and guardians who weren't present and aware.  I welcome working with parents and guardians to help their youths be the best they can be in boxing.  But if the parents and guardians don't want to communicate with me, I can't -- no, I'm not going to chase them.

The other day, a parent came around looking for their kid who has yet to register for the class.  Oh, the kid keeps showing up on-and-off inquiring about what is going on.  But no action has been taken. The family situation is the kid is not living with the parent, but with a guardian who was supposed to register them a couple of weeks ago.  That was the first time I've ever seen the parent at the field house. I explained the situation to the parent.  They had the authority to sign the kid up that day.  But the parent made no effort to do so.  The indifference coming from some parents and guardians is widespread as well as sad.

Unfortunately, the parents and guardians' non-actions force me to crack down harder on the rules the park district has set for the boxing program as well as my own rules for the gym.  I have to come with an attitude of "Don't like what I said?  Well, the door opens both ways," to keep order.  I'm not the only boxing coach in the park district who keeps having to deal with these issues.  Some of the coaches are very direct with parents and guardians about what they won't tolerate.  I try to operate as professionally as possible.  However, my toleration for things keeps inching towards zero as well.

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