Sexism In The Boxing Gym

Coach James, who runs the football, basketball, and baseball programs at the field house, told me he had to defend my honor earlier yesterday.  A man who discovered that the boxing coach is a woman appeared to take offense at that.  "I applied for that job awhile ago!  That job should have been mine!  How they gonna give it to a woman?" the guy said.  Coach James told him that from what he could see, I was doing a good job.  "How can a woman teach men how to box?" the guy told him.

The guy showed up in the gym sometime later, giving me a long skeptical look.  When I told him I had been boxing since 2001, the guy seemed to fumble for a comeback.  Then he did what too many guys do, which is brag about what boxing experience he's had.  Uh-huh.  I learned a long time ago that many confuse briefly taking a few boxing classes before giving up with having a lot of fight experience.  Other people think the amount of street fights and schoolyard rumbles they've had constitute knowing how to box.

I'm used to the sexism in this sport to an extent.  But it irritates me all the same.  The guy offered to send some younger guys over to check out the gym and perhaps sign up for the program.  I appreciated the gesture, but he said, "I plan to volunteer, too."  Based on the guy's earlier comments to Coach James, I'm not so sure I want the guy as a volunteer.

Unfortunately, some men are always looking to undermine a woman's authority everywhere and at all times.  If the guy actually applies to be a park district volunteer and successfully passes the background check, I have a feeling I will have to keep reminding him who is the boss of the gym.  I already have my hands full dealing the kids.  I don't need to also have to explain manners and having respect for others to an adult.

When The Guys Don't Want To Play

A couple of years ago, the coach gave some sparring choices to a guy who trains at the gym on and off.  One of the choices was me.  ”I’d rather not spar with a woman,” the guy replied.

If I was younger and more of a hothead, I would have taken offense.  I had been told, especially in martial arts classes, that “an opponent, is an opponent, is an opponent”.  No distinctions were to be made about someone coming at me with the intention of hurting me based on gender.  Now that I’m older, and I don’t fly off of the handle as much (well, some of the time), and I let it go.  But before any woman who is confronted with a similar situation puts on one boxing glove out of anger, please know that some men are not refusing because of sexist notions.  

Sometimes, it's like this:  there are some guys in this world who were taught not to hit a woman.  Thank God for that.  Read the newspapers, watch the six o'clock news, and it’s clear that many guys are no longer taught at home about not roughing up women.  Dig a little further on the Internet, and it won’t be hard to find videos and Twitter posts from guys who make light of assaulting women.  We live in an ugly world.

The guys might want to really mix it up while in the ring, and they don’t feel comfortable about taking it hard to a woman.  I’m always aware when a guy is not hitting as hard as he could when I’m in front of him.  Then I see the guy in with another guy and they are going to town.  Does it bother me?  Sometimes, but I don't get all up in arms about it.  I'll encourage a guy to go hard with me, but if they won’t, no amount of encouragement  from me  – or the coach —  is going to make them do it.  So I just take advantage of being able to practice my offense, which what happens because the guy will usually go light on defense. So don’t take it personally when a guy says he’d rather spar with another guy. 

If there is sexism behind a guy's refusal to spar with woman, most likely the woman will have picked up on the guy's attitude toward and about women long before the opportunity to spar came up.  Believe me, it's better to know about any kind of "ism" up front than to have to deal with the covert practices of them.